Doing Life Together

"Whoever isolates himself seeks his own desire; he breaks out against all sound judgment."

Proverbs 18:1

One of the biggest lessons I learned from seminary through experience and in the classroom is that you cannot do life alone. We need each other, we need to be in community. Being a shy and at times soft-spoken introvert, I have struggled most of my life with building and maintaining lasting friendships. I didn't have very many friends growing up; matter of fact I only had one friend throughout my entire high school career. So very few people actually knew who I was and I only shared part of myself with a selective few.

Growing up I was always afraid that if people really got to know me, they would think that I was weird or they would reject me and I would be back to where I started, alone. Heck, I even thought I was weird! All of these fears and insecurities led me to withdraw even more from people. Yes I may have been there physically, but mentally and emotionally I was somewhere else. I was not open and honest about my thoughts and feelings. I wasn't letting people see me, and I wasn't seeking out others either. Things got a little better in college. I met more people and began to come out of my shell just a little bit. I still wasn't too sure of myself and still had a lot of social awkwardness going on, but I was getting better. But I could not understand why I wasn't connecting with people the way I wanted. It was like I wanted to move closer, yet move away at the same time. I felt safer by myself.

But moving to Dallas for graduate school and being in seminary changed my life. It was there that I really started to understand the need for close relationships, the need to share life with others. I met so many wonderful godly people there. I experienced the closeness that I never had. I laughed and cried with my friends. I hugged them, prayed with and for them. I shared my fears and insecurities and felt so safe and loved. I felt accepted. I no longer isolated myself in my room. I got out and met people, experienced life with others. Shared their good times and bad times. It was amazing!

Life lived alone or life lived without authenticity and intimacy is unfulfilling. That's because we were not made to live alone! Husband and wife, parent and child, the body of Christ, all these relationships connect us to one another to do life together. We need to pray for one another, build each other up, hold each other accountable. We need to share our joys and sorrows, our hopes and dreams. The church is one place where we gather together to fellowship but we also need to extend that fellowship into our daily lives. We need to live in community on a day-to-day basis.

My church has what is called "Connect Groups" to help connect members to each other. I encourage you to join me and take advantage of the small groups and/or bible study groups in your church. Or you can even start a mini-one at your home. Get a group of friends together and sit down and talk about meaningful things. Laugh together, cry together, pray together. Share your struggles and victories, encourage one another. Let's stop living our lives in isolation and loneliness. Let's do life together.