Wise Counsel

Best wise counsel I've gotten all week: "Stop questioning your motives and start challenging your actions."

This came from my sweet boyfriend who has to put up with the most analytic girlfriend ever. I mean I can analyze the heck out of a statement or even a word! I'm always questioning something or trying to uncover some hidden meaning that has got to be there... oh my gosh, can I be Freudian!?! Nooooo!!! (Just another thing for me to analyze.) One of the reasons I entered the field of counseling/psychology is for this very thing. I wanted to understand everything about myself and other people. I just had to know the big question...WHY? Why do I do what I do or think the way I think or say what I say or feel how I feel? Why are people the way they are? Can we change? Why or why not? Whew! See what I mean?

Now I realize it has gotten out of hand. (You think?) I'm constantly analyzing people and every interaction I have with them. When I feel it's not a good one, I question my motives extensively to the point where I become paralyzed in the sense that I freeze and feel like I can do nothing. It's like the analytical part of me prevents me from taking any futher action because I'm overthinking the past and even the next step.

And then the self-defeating thoughts come. I feel like I failed as a person and also failed the person I was interacting with. I discussed this with my boyfriend who basically told me that I need to stop overthinking things and just challenge myself to do the things I really want to do. He said my focus should be on helping people progress in life, not wondering if I said the right thing or if everything is happening perfectly like I want it to.

I guess I thought all along that I have been challenging myself education-wise and that was enough. But I believe now it is time for me to challenge myself in practice. I'm in the real world now, working in real people's lives trying to make a real difference. It's time for me to start applying the things that run through this head of mine instead of over-analyzing everything. So I don't have to understand everything about myself or the other person. I don't have to figure everything out first before I make a move. I just have to do something and be sincere in my efforts.