Confusing Hurt with Hate

I met a beautiful person the other day. What made her beautiful was her heart, her wisdom, and her love for those who hurt her the most. Her story was tragic yet inspiring because she refuses to give up and is determined to make a better life for herself. She has experienced so much in her life and is still here today to tell and even write her story (which is absolutely incredible).

One belief she shared with me that she feels strongly about is she doesn't want to confuse her hurtful feelings towards her abuser with a hateful attitude towards her abuser. When she said that, tears began to fill my eyes. I thought about the people I know, and even myself, who have been hurt by those we love and how we have adopted a hateful attitude towards the person and situation. What she said was so powerful and so true.

We confuse hurt with hate.

Hate is a strong word. Most of us won't actually admit that we hate the one who hurt us. But that is how we act when we hold grudges and don't forgive. That is what will eventually happen if we let that stuff remain inside of us. It can grow and even get worse.

Hurtful feelings and emotions such as betrayal, abandonment, pain, and sorrow are traded with hateful feelings such as anger, rage, disgust, and bitterness. It becomes hard to distinguish the two. But we know anger is a secondary emotion and we must find out what really lies underneath all the anger and bitterness. Most of the time it is pain. And that's what we must address.

We must trust God with our pain. Psalm 34:18 says "The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit." He wants to mend our hearts and help us heal.

We must also remember that we hurt others as well. We would want forgiveness extended to us. So we have to forgive. Ephesians 4:32 says "Be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ also has forgiven you."

Let's stop confusing hurt with hate. Let's love.