True Life: I Stutter

Today I stumbled upon MTV's True Life: I Stutter episode and I was super excited. I have had a stuttering problem since I was little and it has always been embarrassing for me to talk about. My close family and friends sometimes tease me about it lovingly, especially when it is really bad. But I don't talk about it much because I try to hide it and hope that people don't notice.

There are certain times when it is at its worse and I can't hide it. Phone calls can be very hard for me, especially important ones when I am already nervous. I also tend to stutter a lot when I am telling a story and excited. My mom often has to tell me to calm down and talk slowly. It gets frustrating because I have to focus on getting my words out clearly and it takes longer but my brain is moving so fast. Words that begin with vowels are really hard for me too. I have trouble saying my first name which is so annoying. I can remember the first day of school in 4th grade my teacher was telling me to introduce myself in class and I kept saying my last name because I couldn't get my first name out. The kids were laughing at me and I was so embarrased. I also want to speak Spanish more but I get nervous because I stutter so badly when I do speak it. With stuttering, you have to think ahead of time. I know certain words that I will stutter on so I have alternate words I say instead. It's a lot of work.

Public speaking is definitely one of my biggest fears, as a lot of other people. I dreaded taking speech classes in school and always signed up for summer speech courses. I was terrified of giving a speech and stuttering in front of the entire class. But the funny thing was I never stuttered during any of my speeches! My high school teacher said that I was one of the best speakers in the class and I should consider joining the debate team. My college professor and entire class voted me as the best speaker in the class. I couldn't believe it, and I still don't get it!

I'm learning now to embrace my stuttering and be open and honest about it. I have no reason to hide who I am, especially with those who love and care about me. For those of you who know someone who stutters, try to be supportive and encourage them to talk about it. For more information on stuttering, check out http://www.nsastutter.org/.

Whew! I finally put it out there. I stutter. And I'm okay with it.